Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize