dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
