So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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