She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
