Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
