Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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