im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wish my penis had an off switch
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
