i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
