I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
