glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
