Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
