tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize