this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
