Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
