i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
