school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you didnt know i had herpes?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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