ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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