I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize