Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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