singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize