Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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