My room smells like vodka and shame
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
