It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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