ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
