is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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