We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
