After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
