Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
