If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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