I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
