I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
