everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
