i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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