he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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