you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
