Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
