So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
