I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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