ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
