we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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