I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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