i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Someone shattered a urinal.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
