i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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