so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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