The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
