I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
