i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
