I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
