turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize