dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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