I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
