By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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