hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize