The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
