Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
