You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
it's like iHOP with fire
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
