I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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