the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize