Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
