I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
