Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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