IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
40s are totally the cure
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
