Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
