No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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