xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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