So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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