your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I want to be your penis for a week.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
