The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
