I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
