oh god the rape fog is back!
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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